Greetings readers, though few and far between you may be. I have not been the most productive web weaver of late, and so my site and blog are way behind. Now that my head is a little clearer I may be ready to write with heart and mind open again.The past year was a big eye opener to say the least, and hence the new name of my Blog "The Transformation Tour". Let's sum it up nicely, shall we? Lets' see --

• May 9, 2003, Heidi and Andy Find out they are pregnant (yippee!)
• May15 -- Lunar Eclipse, Andy begins major psychotic episode lasting 4 weeks
• June 15 -- Heidi moves, wedding cancelled
• July 15 -- Heidi moves again to St. Louis, Andy returns from hospital and goes to Ohio
• August 15 -- Heidi moves to Delaware, OH
• November -- Andy moves to Delaware, finally taken off anti-psychotic medications
• Jan 16, 2004 -- Heidi and Andy move again to 615 Magnolia, Heidi's water breaks at 1 a.m.
• Jan 18 -- 40 hours of labor later, Luka is born by cesarean section

Well, that ends the trauma and drama section of our tour, though recovering from the c-section was no box of chocolates. I would say Andy is just now getting his wits back into focus after quite a rough year -- but I guess we can pat ourselves on the back for not giving up. He is officially moving back in with us in September of this year. (After moving back to Wisconsin for treatment and respite in April). Oh my, did we make it?

Okay, okay, I know many of you may have referred to me as a drama queen one or two times in the past, but I think the drama is over for a while at least. I am practicing each day with my new teacher, Luka Job, and some of the things I am working on are:

• peace
• being in the present
• recognizing and putting to rest the ego
• awareness
• some asana (still have a lot of weight to lose, so the old faves aren't so fave anymore -- for now!)
• NOW
• breathing, walking meditation

Now I have to get back to the creative. I will be working on this now that Luka is a little more manageable. Till next time -- Love, peace, and awareness. Heidi

It has been a while since I have updated this journal, and for that I apologize. I am working on changing the website so that it is more efficient for me to update on the fly (because every time I update I seem to forget how it all works!) so the features will be much more visitor friendly. I have also made my CDs available on CDBaby.com, so order away! A lot has happened since last winter, the most important thing being I am expecting my first child in January! For now we think it is a boy, but we won't know until s/he shows up of course. A couple months ago I left the gorgeous frozen tundra of northern Wisconsin for my hometown of Delaware, Ohio to be closer to family for the big events of baby-having. Columbus is a very hip town with a fun music scene I am just trying to make sense of and break into. I am excited to become a rocker mom, and I already have visions of new tattoes swimming in my head . . . if not for gestation I think I would be covered in ink by now (yes, pregnancy has caused me to want to alter everything). Other things in the works include applications to grad school, as I am exploring the idea of getting an MFA in creative writing. I feel the need to be in a community of artists who are producing work regularly, and it seems hard to find those people outside the context of school . . . plus I might like to teach one day. Who knows? For now I am so spinning with thoughts of motherhood, but distracted by thoughts of heidihood, and wondering how the two will mesh? New stretchmarks every day. I keep wondering if it's possible to tour on bike with a baby? Tee hee. Till next time.

Winter winter winter. This one has been especially cold for me. Hard to keep warm. I think I am ready for spring. The cabin life is good. We've had sunny days forever it seems, and the blue jays dart past the windows. When I think of what my life could be, I remember that I am so grateful for this harmonious one I lead. I decided today to take a substantial break from planning my music career. I've been really confused and torn and stressed about it all for a while -- lots of expectations and dreams all swirled around in my head and heart, making me crazy! So bad I haven't been able to let go and enjoy the music. Time to take a break. I packed away all my promotional stuff so it won't stare me in the face anymore and say "send me out to everyone -- hustle!hustle!hustle!" I didn't want to lose my life when I decided to try the singer/songwriter thing full time, but it seems you have to. I'm not ready for that. Not until I can stop stressing! Funny, just as I was solidifying my decision to only sing out when I know my intention is in a good place, and to wait for people to call me, and to get a job at the diner up the road waitressing -- a local musician I completely respect knocked on my door asking me to record with him. Holy Wah! But he literally knocked on the door! Of the cabin! Which is really in the middle of nowhere! Oh my, the powers that be do work in strange ways, don't they? You will never know until you let go . . . . . who sings that? Around and around we go. Pray for peace, Love, Heidi

Hello from the wonderful city of St. Louis! Remarkably different from what I'm used to, but I am learning to appreciate the bustle of the city. My interview with Clint Harding was magical on kdhx.org this morning. I knew it was meant to be when I sat down and he was spinning Greg Brown's Songs of Innocence record. Yeah, my first radio interview! I'm moving up in the world. Today I will scream my head off at my little (not so little 6' 5" )all star brother, Lewis' basketball game and hope to have enough voice left for the show at Principia College in Elsah, IL tonight. I hope to see some of you there. Peace.

Dear Friends,
Greetings and peace to you all! Just a note to tell you what I've been up to and what crazy stories to expect from me in the future.
I just moved to Bayfield, WI (about 45 minutes from where I was living before) into a rustic cabin with my fiance, Andy Bastin. (No running water, the wedding should happen this summer). A lot has transpired over the past few months, as you can tell, and still much to come this year. I plan to do a couple of tours by car this winter and spring, maybe put together a new CD, and complete a longer "one less tourbus" tour by bike in the fall. Also crunched in there somewhere, Andy and I plan to backpack the 210-mile (?) Lake Superior Hiking Trail for our honeymoon (the Appalachian will have to wait).
Currently I am developing my skills as an activist, demonstrator, and puppeteer, and plan to visit NYC for the international peace rally on February 15. I was in DC for MLK weekend and felt very inspired to continue speaking out against war on Iraq as publicly as I can. If you saw any of the media coverage on that march, we were the people carrying giant peace dove puppets that were mentioned in the Village Voice and also shown on C-Span. Not to mention, my good friend Chris Lutter's Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld puppets made almost every major news source including the New York Times! Check him out at Puppetfarm.com. I am so proud of my community—coming from an area of population 10,000 people, we took over 100 folks with us to that march on the 48-hour bus ride! Please, wherever you are, raise your voices. Please do not be resigned. We can stop this senseless war before it starts.
Otherwise, my CD has been nominated for CD of the year at Kweevak.com! Please go to my website and vote for me before Feb. 28. GO to www.heidihowes.com and scroll to the bottom left hand corner where you will find the link to vote. Thank you and please tell all your friends!
For all of you who are internet savvy, you can hear me playing LIVE tomorrow morning at 9:15 a.m. if you have realplayer on www.kdhx.org Please tune in and hear my newest songs/poems!

This is probably the longest e-mail I’ve written in a while. The snow is up to our knees by the cabin, and it makes for a fun march to the outhouse in the morning. Sam the cat is enjoying curling up by the woodstove and doing nothing all day long. May we all find peace. May our hearts be open.

Love to you all,
Heidi

Cold winter day, snow storm last night. It was knee deep to the outhouse this morning. Headed out to St Louis to play some dates this weekend, and it's been a while since I've sung anything but protest songs! Speaking of which, the anti-war march in DC on MLK weekend was amazing . . . I was looking for inspiration and found it. We took 9 giant peace dove puppets with us, and three puppet heads of Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld, which made it on C-Span. I was laughing so hard watching those heads bob around in the crowd of hundreds of thousands of people. I was so proud to live where I live, with a show of 100 people taking the buses 48 hours from this tiny little place. Very proud, indeed. Still trying to find a way to get to NYC for Feb 15. We must make our voices heard by the administratin that war is not the answer. On Friday night I'll be at the Yellow Moon Cafe in Cobden, IL again, and Saturday back at Principia College in Elsah, IL. Sunday is a CD release party at Schafly's Tap Room in St. Louis. See my calendar for more details. Love to you.

Hello world! It has been quite a trip since my last journal entry. While on the road with one less tourbus I had a hard time finding internet service readily available, and after two weeks and 300 miles of riding, my left ankle was making a very strange squeaky sound! I had finished all of my arranged dates, so we decided to turn around and head home. Looking back now I can say I learned a lot, had a blast, met some amazing people, but was very unprepared for the trip in general . . . and I also can't wait to do it again! It was loads of fun. 2002 was jam packed with all sorts of adventures: a new website, my debut CD, my debut poetry chapbook, and on December 21 I got engaged to Andy Bastin! Now I'm slowly moving my stuff into my fiance's (oooh, weird word) self-built cabin on Star Route (is it a sign?) in Bayfield, Wisconsin. The funnest thing is, there is no running water!!! So don't get too close to me if you come to one of my gigs. Tee hee. I'll be writing more again soon to keep you up to date on my "cabin in the woods" adventures.